A long day 'twas and the traffic standstill,
At last, I wondered, we could eat our stomach's fill.
I waited and begged and pleaded and prayed,
"Dun't have change, come later" is all that they said.
But I wasn't disappointed 'coz someday I'll be rich,
and all the things in this world will switch...
I love my mother as she is very very good,
Though I come empty, she gives me enough food.
But I dunt like her cries when she puts me to bed,
"Your father left us to stay with the god", she once said..
But I wasn't unhappy 'coz someday I'll be rich,
and all the things in this world will switch...
I heard that there are kids who need not work at all !
They just eat and study and play football !!
There are rich people who eat 3-4 curries a meal !
When we get to eat only leftover rice, water and even banana peel !!
But I was not angry 'coz someday I'll be rich,
and all the things in this world will switch...
Srivatsava Daruru
23 comments:
Nice one ... I liked the flow and rhyming :)
Enti beggar paina rasav.....kotthaga emina experience ayyava :D
@ rakee: Thanks :).
hehe ledu ra just an attempt to sympathize with the poor children :)
Mama Nice one ra... Liked the flow and the "HOPE" in the poem.
Great one ra mama... while reading I can see that it is straight from your heart... I might share this with some of my other frieds with ur persmission
too gud. rhyming is awesome. can be extended with his daily experiences like how ppl look at him, how ppl treat him etc.,
hmm.. lite le.. feel potundemo.. leave it as it is :)
@Vasiley : Thanks mama.. :) may be I should change the title to Hope..
@Rajesh : Thank you ra.. do festival.. pandaga chesko.. idhi kuda adagaala :P
@Nagaas: Thanks ra.. U know wat.. that's xactly what I thought !!. ivvanollani bhutulu tittadam, ichinollani pogadadam, ammayini venakapettukuni vellevaadu buildup istu dabbulu ivvadam type lo masala add cheddamani.. but as u said main point miss avvutundi :)
Touching man.. lotsa depth! :)
rhymed well !
Vatsava, good work. Chala bagundi..I don't know that ne lo ee talent kooda undi ani.. :) Keep us updated with next things!
Addanga kummindi ra ....
kakapothe motivation gurinchi kooda andariki cheppu ... enduku rasavo artham ayithe inka baguntundi poem :)
awesome... heart touching :)
awesome lines... gr8..
'coz someday I'll be rich,
and all the things in this world will switch...
@Sonaris: Thanks as Touching and depth are relatively new words in this comment space :P
@Tejaswi,Anonym: Thanks ra.. hehe monne kada parichayam ayyindi :) Sure thing will keep you updated..
@Kirthi: 10x buddy :). As per the motivation.. I was reading this
http://www.bartleby.com/145/ww128.html and thought I could Indianize it !! :)
Quite intense and emotional.
It sorta rhymed and surely didn't flow.
But again, when the heart speaks, the brain should stop. Rhyme meters, flow bla and bla are of no consequence when the feeling is this intense. Quite some motivation I guess.
AWESOME!
Very emmotional one..its usually difficult to put urself in someone else's shoes and treat their sorrows as urs...you did a good job!
Nice one!
US lo beggars choosi Intha feel ayyava??
Nice one ra.. Rhyming kummev.. anyways inthaki aa sympathy Americans ka lekapothe Indians??
Well written :)
I d like to see more of such kind :)
sree that rich n switch lines are very nice.. nice one
rhyming is very nice...of course content too...
awesome dude !! .. chadiva kaani comment ippudu rastunna :)
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